"It was my mother-in-law." explained Henry at funeral procession, tightening the leash of his dog, "my Doberman killed her."That's terrible," said a spectator, "but is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?" The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and replied, "get in line."**********************************************
Tom: "Why did the monster jump up and down?"
Martin : "Because he'd taken his dedicine but forgot to shake the bottle."
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Customer: "How can I make this umbrella last 10 years?"
Umbrella seller: "Don't use it in sun or rain."
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Man at railway counter: "When will Rajdhani Exprress arrive?"
Stationmaster: "8 AM"
"...and Shatabdi Express?"
"8.30 AM"
"....and Kashi Express?"
"Where do you have to go?"
"Nowhere, I have to cross the railway line."
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If I could rearrange the English alphabet all over again, I would put U and I together.
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The boss is interviewing an applicant for a job.
Boss: Why did you leave your last job
Applicant: Due to illness.
Boss: What illness?
Applicant: My boss was sick of me.
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Before leaving for office, a man would tease his wife by saying, "Bye, mother of four!" One day, she said, "Bye, father of two!" And he stopped his joke.
